June 21, 2013

Fashion Forum: Thongs, Briefs, or Boy Shorts

Fashion Forum: Thongs, Briefs, or Boy Shorts

(Re-edited from August, 2008)

Around the time when Sisqo sung that song, come on we all know the song, oh do I have to say it, okay THE THONG SONG, well thong sales just about went through the roof. Ladies everywhere (all shapes and sizes) decided that they too must be about the business of a thong. Thongs and jeans, thongs and sweatpants, thongs and sundresses, thongs while working out, dirty thongs everyone can see, it was thong madness!

Well, I am not here to debate your sexiness or what you put on your body during your private time. From all my male friends, thongs are the business, when in the bedroom. But ladies for fashion purposes, you need to know when to wear a thong and when not to. Did you know that thongs can cut off circulation to your vagina?! OMG! You can get mad if you want, but this is the truth. Thongs shouldn't be your ONLY style of underwear, here's several reasons why:

Midi Bandeau Sundress from ASOS
Thongs with Sundresses: I was doing an article about the very popular maxi-dress. Trying to take pictures of girls in this summer trend, when it became very clear to me, many people did not get the memo, NO THONGS under SUNDRESSES! Why, you ask?  When you put on a thong, it naturally separates your butt cheeks (lets be real) depending on your body structure. Now, you got butt cheeks flapping in the wind under a sundress. When you are not walking, you have a sundress WEDGE! It looks crazy, everyone is laughing at you! You have a wedge, wearing a sundress. Ladies, wear boy shorts when wearing sundresses. If the wind blows, you are covered. It's much more healthier in the summer, especially in Tennessee, with all this heat we suffer. I'm just saying, try it. Victoria's Secret, Fredrick's, Target, shoot, even Wal-mart have some very cute, very colorful boy shorts.

Thongs with Jeans: I don't get it. Jeans are made of the roughest material known to man. You can wear a thong if you like, but please, if you jeans sit at your hip bone. Then, when you bend over your crack shows! You need BOY SHORTS. Unless your a stripper or a lady of the night or have on high waisted jeans, try boy shorts.

A nice brief in a colorful pattern could smooth that out.
Thongs vs. Your Weight: Whew, I know I'll step on some toes. I don't even care. This is not about how big you are, but about you''re proportioned. If you got a lot of TUMMY, stay away from the thong and go visit the Spanx section of the world. I'm plus sized, I know these things. If your stomach hangs over your panties, in any way, YOU need to face the truth, and let it go, get some bigger panties. It's real out here. People are laughing, pointing, and posting your pic on the Internet, on one of those 'hot ghetto mess' type websites. I don't want that for you. Let it go. Be real with yourself.

White Thongs: Whoo, stay away from that. That's a mess waiting to happen.

Thongs while working out:  Ladies, I know you do not want panty line in your work out shorts, but when I am in yoga class, behind you, and we are stretching, that is not a view I want to see. Most doctors don't recommend for women to wear thongs during working out for fear of rectal bacteria traveling to your lady part. That bacteria can give you a supreme infection (source). Boy shorts, are a good deal. Even low-cut bikini style or a breathable cotton brief, is good for wearing at the gym.

The point is, there are so many styles of underwear to choose from. Why be stuck in a fashion box, with only wearing thongs.

Where's this guy?
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